THE WAY I WANT MY CHILD TO GROW UP!!
In our society, general expectation of parents and family from their children is to become a doctor, an engineer, a lawyer, a businessman. In other words, 'Financially successful'. Of course, it is a fair expectation. But is it sufficient?
Personally for me, it's not. My primary expectation from my son is to become 'A Fine Gentleman'. Successful luxurious life comes later. Making him a gentleman is my duty, so the way I raise my child is very important. How I plan to do this? I have my own perspective which I wish to put forward here, combining it with my experience with my son.
I am an outdoor instructor. I have seen thousands of children with many different natures over the years. What saddens me is, many of these children lack the daring to face new challenges mentally or physically. I don't want this happening to my son. I want him to be strong and fearless. Many kids of this generation are the single child to their parents and because of that, parents tend to over-pamper and overprotect them. Loving and protecting is very natural but overdoing it can make children Dependant and lazy. It can also hurt their self-confidence.
Often the elders scare small children by telling "Don't go in darkness or someone will catch you, Don't go near fire, Don't play with scissors, Don't do this & Don't do that". Stopping kids from doing things is not a solution to keep them safe. They are going to do it one way or another, whether you permit it or not. This is their curiosity after all & this curiosity can make kids do
things behind parent's back. And in worse case scenario, they will get
phobia of certain things for rest of their lives. Therefore it is better
to let them do things under elderly supervision and teach them how to
do it properly. My son have no fear of darkness, he handles sharp things
carefully because I have never stopped him from being curious. He plays
with our cats and dogs who are double of his size with ease. In fact,
one of my female dogs is hound which is a hunter breed & she used to
be very protective of him when he was very small.The thing is, animals
understand. So let children play with them. Let them get attached to
animals as animals are the most loving creatures. Apart from this, being
with animals, playing in sun, rain, mud makes children physically
strong and their immunity increases. Keeping them hidden inside walls
will only make them weak and lonely. Getting cuts and bruises, scratched
knees is part of growing up. Don't try to avoid it by not letting them
play outside. Just guide them how to avoid injuries. Yuki, my son seldom
cries over injury no matter how big it is. He gets back to his business
within minutes. Yuki is quite an outdoor lover like his parents. We
take him to mountains, To the forest, to lakes. I want him to experience
all kind of nature's creations at young age. It will make him sensitive
towards nature and also adventurous.
Teaching
kids 'Sharing, Kindness, Sensitivity towards other people ( If a boy,
respecting women and girls) is very necessary at early stage. These
things are essential to live as a good person in society. We need to
embed in their young minds that 'If you give respect, then only you will
get respect in return'. Many times children show more maturity than
their age. So treat them as equals not just as small immature kids. Ask
their opinion in things where they are involved.
One of
the most important stage, in progress of kids, is Schooling & that's
where parents have to be very careful. Parents should take decision
thinking about child's progress and not by listening to people around. I
will tell my personal experience. I was very firm on my decision of
putting my son in Marathi medium school, as my family's mother-tongue is
Marathi. I am from Marathi school as well. When people hear about it,
reactions that come, are so negative over this decision. According to
them,'A child should go to English medium if you want him to be smart
and intelligent.' This thinking makes me laugh. Being smart does not
depend on medium of schooling. It depends on natural intelligence of
kid and how parents and teachers help him increase it. Every language is
equally rich. Not just English. In fact, kids can understand basics in
their mother-tongue more easily than foreign language. As an universal
language, now a days, all schools introduce English from 1st standard
anyway.
Once children start school, they start facing burden of expectations about high grades in exams from family. It's really disturbing to see that 'A Junior KG kids going to external tuitions. "I mean, Come On. They are 3 years old kids. Give them a space." Let them enjoy their childhood. Once they get to High school, serious studies are unavoidable. No need to ruin their precious childhood, just because of family's expectations which kids don't even understand at that age. I am personally very against it. I am not going to force my son for external tuitions until his high school and unless he asks for it when he thinks he needs to study extra. I don't mind if he gets 90% or 60% as long as he understands the basics.
Another very dangerous thing for child is the 'Comparison with other children'. Never ever compare a child with other children. Every child is different in nature and intelligence. Never tell a child that He or She is Inferior OR Superior than others. It will either make him or her feel useless or arrogant. Both are very bad feelings. Instead make them believe that they are strong, smart and unique in their own way. Figure out their talent and help them nurture it. Be it Sport, Art or Academics. Let their creativity and imagination flow.
There is general thinking regarding small children that 'Television is bad influence on the minds of kids, so keep them away from TV'. I find it illogical. Parents can always supervise what kids watch. With the right TV programmes, kids can actually learn many different things. Books are great source of knowledge as well. Introduce kids to books at early age. Even if they can't read it, describe the pictures to them. My son, at the age of 3, started picking up Hindi language while watching his Disney cartoons. We were amazed to see how nicely he was understanding the meanings of words perfectly just by linking actions of characters and words together in his young mind. We literally did nothing except correcting him some times. At 4, he could converse fluently with Hindi speaking people with ease using big big words. Also he got so much knowledge about species of animals, birds, ocean life from various shows and books. He got very interested in sports as well.
We often see youngsters who don't know anything about household stuff. Don't know about how their house's budget works. Functioning of day to day things should be integral part of children's learning. Parents should let kids try household works, girl or boy. They should know importance of smallest household work and responsible spending habits from early age. Parents should teach them difference between necessity and luxury. It will help them become a good family person in future and take care of family efficiently.
Eventually all these small or big things we teach our children in their tender age, can help them become a respected person in society, which is every parent's greatest wish. Raising a child is a big task but Nurturing a Good-Hearted child is a challenging task & every mother should give her best to accomplish it. I am very much trying to fulfill all these things with my son. I want my son to become a fine gentleman.
Strong and Kind; Emotional yet practical; Proud but Not Arrogant; Fearless and Adventurous; Obedient but Rebellious for the right reasons; A Good Speaker as well as A Good Listener; A person who can Lead people but Who can follow others when necessary; Carefree yet Responsible!!!
